I like to create things.
I prefer to do it as alone as I can be. Without distraction.
When I was a kid I liked to draw. I got pretty good at it. I learned a trick: If I pretended nothing else existed, except for me and the drawing, I could get lost in it. From there it was fun; ultimate concentration and creative control.
I learned to ignore everything around me. I’m sure in some ways that was rude, but I couldn’t think of a more effective way to communicate that need, as a kid.
I haven’t been entirely successful as an adult, either.
I like to envision something and then make it. I like happy accidents; I like a bit of impulsivity in my process. I don’t need it to be exactly what is in my head, I just need it to be mine.
I prefer to move through at my own pace. I like to drop things and then pick them up later. It’s a necessary part of my process: to stay fresh, or at least, to feel fresh, I need to step away and revisit, step away and revisit.
For me, all things are like this. I don’t know any other way.
I’m a true introvert. Which really shouldn’t be confused with being shy. I prefer my own company when I can get it. I’m not afraid of interacting with people, it just wears me down much more quickly than it should.
Perhaps a good way to envision it is that, I have a running train of thought that I enjoy spending time with. It’s a curious train of thought; it’s inquisitive. It’s bizarre at times and frequently joyful, in a particularly quiet way. And when I’m around other people, I find myself distracted or unable to explore this train of thought. It’s almost like I think in story mode. From time to time, I get to tell the story and it’s exhilarating. But more often than not, I find being surrounded by people something like being asked to think about several different things, some of which are of my choosing and many of which are not. It’s not laborious, but it is…..exhausting.
I spent my time in between this post and my last by doing a lot of “not writing”. You may have picked up on that. It’s not that I had nothing to write, it’s that I didn’t make time for it. I created other things.
It’s after midnight, which means today is your 5th birthday, Helena.
I’m leaving this here for you, in case you ever need it.
Happy Birthday, Kiddo.
One thought on “Did You Create Something Beautiful Today?”
Matt, Awesome piece. You are so articulate. Happy Birthday beautiful Helena. Love to your mommy, your sister, cats… You are a spectacular child. Good parenting and lots of love and attention creates happy children. ❤❤❤❤❤
On Sun, Aug 1, 2021, 12:43 AM Dad’s Greatest Hits wrote:
> mattvertefeuille posted: ” Hello. Autumn Series coming soon. I like to > create things. I prefer to do it as alone as I can be. Without distraction. > When I was a kid I liked to draw. I got pretty good at it. I learned a > trick: If I pretended nothing else existed, except” >